IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOUR JOURNEY
Do not just read this and move on. Pause here.
I know that some of the things I have described may be things you are going through yourself. The pursuit of truth can become so passionate that, without realizing it, we begin to bury things that matter even more: the condition of our soul, our relationship with God, our humanity, our ability to surrender, and our confidence that God is still King.
If anything you have read here has made you think, “There may be some truth in this,” I do not want you merely to agree with me. I want you to pause. Your pursuit of truth should not bury your relationship with God. It should not bury your humanity. It should not bury your surrender to the kingdom of heaven.
One of the things that troubles me most about conspiracy thinking is what happens when it makes God too small. We can become so persuaded that a cabal, a new world order, a government, an intelligence agency or some hidden network controls everything that our hearts begin to behave as though God has lost control of His earth. We become the clever few who believe we have finally uncovered what everybody else cannot see, while fear of hidden human power quietly becomes larger in us than confidence in the kingship of God.
Psalm 2 gives me another picture. The nations rage, rulers plot, and yet God is not intimidated. He is still enthroned. The passage says that He who sits in the heavens laughs. I do not read that as permission to mock people who believe conspiracies. I read it as a correction to the fear that human plotting can somehow dethrone God. Whatever human beings plan, however powerful they appear, God has not surrendered His throne.
“Your pursuit of truth should never make the conspiracy bigger than God.”
If you want a turnaround, begin here.
1. Take a pause. You do not have to solve the next theory tonight. You do not have to watch the next video, answer the next comment or prove the next connection. Give your soul permission to become quiet. A pause is not surrendering truth. Sometimes it is how we recover the freedom to recognize it.
2. Surrender again to Jesus. Bring yourself consciously beneath His lordship. Say to Him, “Lord Jesus, I surrender to You. I do not want to make You too small in my mind. I want to magnify You again.” This is not abandoning legitimate questions. It is restoring the order in which every question must be asked: Jesus remains Lord before I know the answer, while I seek the answer, and after the answer comes.
3. Make God bigger than what frightens you. Tell Him plainly: “You are bigger than the cabals of this world. You are bigger than any new world order. You are bigger than every secret agency, hidden network, government, corporation or powerful person that may attempt to influence humanity. I choose to believe again that You are King.” I am not asking you to pretend human evil does not exist. I am asking whether your awareness of evil has become larger than your awareness of God.
4. Surrender the pursuit itself. You do not have to promise God that you will never investigate another claim. Perhaps truth still needs pursuing. But you can say, “Lord, I surrender even my pursuit of truth to You. I am taking a detour to the city of Jesus Christ. I will suspend this pursuit long enough to find You again in the middle of it. I do not want to arrive at the truth and discover that I lost You, my peace, my humanity or my obedience along the road.”
5. Pray honestly and repent where you need to. Confess the distractions. Confess the places where suspicion became certainty without enough evidence. Confess where you gave a theory the authority of “God said” when God had not said. Confess where anger made people less human in your eyes, where the pursuit became an obsession, or where fear of hidden powers weakened your confidence in God's sovereignty. Do not manufacture guilt where there is none. Simply become honest before God about what this journey has produced in you.
Then ask the Holy Spirit to restore light, peace, humility and tenderness. You may discover that the first evidence of your turnaround is not that every unanswered question disappears. It may be that the questions no longer own you. You can investigate without being possessed by investigation. You can recognize evil without becoming consumed by it. You can say, “I do not know,” without feeling spiritually defeated. And you can pursue truth while remaining deeply surrendered to Jesus.
And then, tell me your story.
I would genuinely like to hear from people who recognize themselves in this journey. Perhaps you have already come through it. Perhaps you are only beginning to realize how much it has affected you. Perhaps you are still wrestling with everything I have written and are not ready to agree. That is all right. Tell me where you are.
There is strength in discovering that we are not the only ones who have wrestled here. I would love for this to become something like our own recovery table: not a club for people who think they are wiser than everybody else, but a place where we can honestly say, “I was here,” and testify to the power of the Holy Spirit to restore peace, perspective, humanity, humility and surrender.
Do not tell me the theory first. Tell me what happened to you. Tell me what the pursuit did to your prayer life, your relationships, your peace, your view of people and your view of God. And if God has begun restoring you, tell me about that too.
Tell me your story →